Today was relatively quiet. After crying myself to sleep last night, I woke up barely 4 hours later. I still could not sleep well. I hardly dreamed. It was just as restless as the nights before.
I did not feel hungry, tired, or have any desire to do anything. All I wanted was to have hubby back and at least have someone at home to just be with me. Even though the bleeding significantly stopped, I could not deny how it was yesterday. My body couldn't be expelling that much blood and yet keep my baby safe. I do not wish to give myself false hope. I don't even cry anymore today.
The office is calling and looking for me. Taking a week off all of a sudden is probably something they never expected from me. At most, I would be out for a day from a cold or fever. I didn't feel like picking up the phone. Let them ring. Let them wonder. I do not care. For once, this is about me and I don't give a damn what is happening elsewhere.
I wonder how long it will take for me to get over this. Hubby said, we can always try again. We will try again. But all I feel like doing is just to hide and be away from it all. I do not even want to ring my parents. I don't know what to talk about.
I am feeling like I am at the very bottom of it all. And yet I cannot cry or say anything anymore.
Moved! Yes...again
16 years ago
2 comments:
Hi dear..
I can totally understand how you feel as I just experienced the same 1 month ago at Week 5. I had my spotting in the morning and heavy bleeding by noon.
Just take a break from work, cry as much as u can at the same time you should also take some confinement food (ie ginger soup) to warm up your uterus as well as black fungus to help to remove all the blood clot in your uterus. Drop me an email if you wish to have someone to talk to.
Sharon
Thank you for the support. At moments like this, they really help. I hope you are getting the same. I can't seem to see your email though, but anything, you can drop me an email as well :) HUGGS
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